Why am I not surprised

Got a phone call from my sister this morning.  She and BIL and my mom were coming on Boxing Day for dinner.  You see they drive right by me on their way to the cottage, which they go to almost every weekend.  Literally I'm 5 minutes off the highway.  But they never stop in, either on their way up, or their way home.  Too busy, too much traffic, want to get home etc etc etc.  We visit their home regularly.  So it's pretty much a one way street.

This Boxing Day (which is the day after Christmas for those of you not of British descent LOL), they are going to the cottage.  My mom, who lives in the same city as they do, is going with them.  I invited them to stop and have supper with us and "do Christmas".  Have a meal planned and everything.  Today my sister phones and they've decided to go up to the cottage early, since they want to get there before dark, since it's snowed, and they will have to shovel the steps to the door (they have a snow plow service do their driveway to the cottage, so it's just the 4 steps).  So they'll stop in.  For a cup of tea. 

Thanks

Started holidays today.  Thank goodness.  I was truly exhausted last night.  Everyone at school yesterday kept telling me how tired I looked - gee thanks, I think.. 

I am no where near being ready for Christmas - Still have shopping to do for gifts and food.  And don't even think about the wrapping.  Tree will get decorated tonight.  I know that's pretty late, however we do leave our tree up until Jan so we will still have lots of time to enjoy it. 

So tomorrow will be crazy - church in the morning, then shop shop shop.  Go get Dave in the afternoon, Concert in the evening.  Monday probably more shopping, wrapping, cooking etc.  Church in the evening, then over to a friends house for snacks. 

Christmas Day won't be too busy, with just bil and sil coming, then Boxing Day my sister, bil and mom come for supper.  After that I'm collapsing.  There will be enough leftovers in the house to keep the family fed, and I plan on spending a day in bed surrounded by books, music, and my children bringing me tea, then diet coke, then wine - in that order LOL.

Beyond Anger

http://www.thebarrieexaminer.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=813609&auth=Tracy+McConkey

This story was in my local paper this morning.  I happened to open the paper at school today in the staff room.  When I read this story I was so angry I was almost in tears.  Not a good thing when you need to go teach.  But I felt slightly nauseous.

I knew about this case.  It's been in the news several times.  The actual crime is horrendous enough.  Read the article carefully.  The man who committed these crimes is a sick individual.  No question.  He committed a horrible crime against some of our most vulnerable citizens.  But that isn't what made me sick, believe it or not.  It was the comments from his lawyer and from the judge. 

This is the comment from the prosecuting attorney:  "I can not think of a more vulnerable victim," Flossman said. "He picked the ones that couldn't speak ... they were confined within their own bodies ... these are offences of stark horror."   Sounds reasonable. 

However his defence attorney disagrees:  it is unknown how much damage has been done to the victims.

"We can't hear from the victims," he said, noting the rapes do not match the horror of beatings or abuse in rape cases that get penitentiary sentences.    So because these individuals cannot speak, are developmentally disabled, may not be fully aware of the scope of the crime against them, that makes them less able to feel the horror of what he did to them?  They were at his mercy.  They were relying on him to care for them.  They cannot protect themselves, so that makes them less worthy as a victim?  less important?  The crimes committed against these vulnerable people are not as severe as the same crime committed against a person of average intelligence?  I'm speechless.  I realize that his job is to defend his client, and I support our justice system.  But he can do that in a number of ways that don't involve negating the impact of the crimes on the victims because they are disabled. 

But wait, there's more.  Then the judge weighs in.  The parents of the children are here. I'm sure hearing about their children is horrific. It might have been horrific for the children. These are the things I have to ponder."   What exactly does he mean by "might have been".  You are an individual in a wheelchair, completely dependent upon caregivers and one of them removes your diaper to rape you - and it MIGHT have been horrific?????   What planet is he from?  The judge has to ponder these things before he decides upon a sentence.  Maybe he should spend a day at the group home, speaking with these individuals, and take the opportunity to see them as fully human, not less than.  He can bring the defence attorney with him.

I believe we measure our worth as a civilized society, by the way we treat those most vulnerable amongst us.  I can only hope in the end that this judge comes through to prove that we are still a civilized society.  Once we start saying that the disabled are less than, it's a slippery slope  - are women less than?  children?  visible minorities?  gays?  Does anyone remember the Holocaust? 

We need to stand for those who can't stand for themselves. 

Tim's home from university for a few days.  He wrote his 4th exam last night, and doesn't write his 5th until next Saturday so he decided to come home for a few days.  Of course he's not actually home, he's out with friends LOL.  Gotta love the social life of an 18 year old.  He brought home a huge bag of laundry, so he'll be doing that tomorrow.  He said he'd get up in the morning - I told he could have the car if he got up and drove me to work.  He wants to get his hair cut, go to the chiropractor, and get his shopping done.  If he does he'll be way ahead of me.

I'm feeling pretty good about the next two weeks of school.  I went into school this morning for a few hours to finalize some units and planning, so it's looking good.  It's crazy busy with meetings and holiday activities though.

I figure shopping will get done.  I hope to get most of it done online, and hit Toys R Us tomorrow or Tuesday for Evan's final wishes.

Not much else to say.  Been kind of boring here this week.  My staff party was Friday night, and it was wonderful.  Lots of opportunity to visit with people, good food and music, and good dancing.  Peter's staff party is next Friday night, so we'll see how it compares.

Next Sunday is the choir concert - Peter, Emily and Evan are all singing.  Evan has a small solo part, and Emily sings a solo, so that will be nice.  It will be a good way to get in the spirit of the holiday.  Hopefully most of my shopping will be done by then (ha). 

So, that's about it.  Not much to say, but I've been trying to write at least two times a week.  Maybe something exciting will come to mind that I'll have to share my thoughts about. 

ADHD

One of my students is a boy in grade 8 who is diagnosed with ADHD.  He could be a poster child.  He stole my heart this fall - am I allowed to say that about a student?  He is a sweet boy.  He also can drive a teacher stark raving mad in less than 60 seconds.  He cannot sit in a chair, he cannot control what comes out of his mouth, he speaks out, constantly insults other students, picks on the weak, does absolutely no work, despite the ability to do so.  He has little to no impulse control. 

Despite all that we've established a connection this year.  He knows that I'm his ally, that I will go to bat for him and work within his abilities, but that I won't tolerate him harassing other students.  He exhausts me daily, but I think he's worth it.  Mom is very angry at the school because she feels that over the last few years she has been blamed, and considered an unfit mother.  I'm new, so so far I haven't been a target for that anger.

A week ago, last Friday, I was sitting with him at the computers.  He came in upset and I gave him 10 min to do what he wanted on the computer before getting down to school work.  He was muttering to himself and started to say something was "retarded".  He stopped himself (huge for him!!!!).  My students know I will not tolerate that word, they know that I have a son who is disabled, and I will not let them use that word in any manner, joking or not.  So he stopped himself (huge) and then apologized to me (wow!). 

Monday comes - he is doing work, he is helping other students, his hair is even combed.  He is still silly, sweet and goofy, but he's being productive.  Mid-week.  Other teachers are commenting - my teaching partner saw him one day and asked if he'd been away all week since she hadn't noticed him.  He is asking to stay in and get help, to be able to get his work done.  He asked to stay after school yesterday so he could get his homework done because he doesn't have a computer at home.  He is helping to protect a new student who is very vulnerable. 

What's happened?  Is it my superior teaching?  Wish I could take credit.  When I was speaking to him this week and complimenting him on his change in behaviour and attitude he told me he started taking Ritalin.  His mom doesn't want anyone to know. 

You know, I'm not a huge fan of drug use for children.  I think we should always try and change the system to meet the needs of the learner, not change the learned to meet the needs of the system.  But this one boy and this one treatment are a match.  It's like the fog has cleared from in front of him and he can see again.  I have never seen such a dramatic change in a child.  He is able to be his true self, work at being the best he can be because all the extraneous noise is gone from his brain. 

For this one boy, this one medicine has made a big difference.  Wish I could hug him and tell him how proud I am of him.